When Did Compassion Become a Four-Letter Word?

I am disgusted right now watching America teeter on the brink of becoming a place I don't recognize. There is so much selfishness on our political landscape, and it feels like it is seeping into many other areas of our lives. We have turned our gaze to our own navels and are making decisions based only on what is best for me - the rest of the nation be damned. And in truth, we've chucked civility out the window with it. Why not? If I'm only concerned about me then why should I bother respecting anyone else's views? They are likely wrong to begin with.

Well, I don't want to live in that world. I don't want to be part of a nation that calls itself "great" while refusing to see what is actually wrong. I don't want to be part of a nation that brags about itself to the peril of it's citizens. The emperor indeed has new clothes. I want a country that knows it is broken and is working to fix that. I want a nation of people who still recognize the human dignity in one another and share a common purpose in the American Dream. I want to live in a place I can be proud of again.

When did we become a country that finds it appalling to care for our disenfranchised? When did we become a society that is only out for itself? It's disturbing to me that the majority of those promoting such egotistical policy are people who claim to follow Christ. Or at the very least they are part of the citizenry for whom morality played a large part in casting their vote. And yet the selfsame voters are willing, even lobbying, for laws and executive orders that take away the very thing that has made our country great: treating our citizens with human decency. We have been called to love our neighbors and instead our country has taken up the mantra of the toddler: mine, mine, mine. This self destructive worldview needs to stopped it in it's tracks. It's not making our country or it's citizens great.

What have we become, that this nation finds it acceptable to leave so many people out in the cold? We choose to close our eyes to the circumstances that created an oppressive system and then shout, "help yourself!" at those clawing to get out; pretending that it's not our problem. We are an industrialized nation founded on the principle of compromise, a nation that rallied together to send men to the moon, a nation that has created solutions to myriad problems, and yet, we cannot find it in our hearts to protect our most vulnerable citizens, to supply life saving drugs to people who need them, and to generally insure dignity for all. Where has America gone?

Giving dignity to others does not take away your own. It's not a slice of cake; it's not finite. No, dignity is a renewable resource. It just keeps growing. In fact, dignifying others is what made Mother Theresa's work so great; it's what spurred the abolition of slavery; it's what allowed us to be a nation if immigrants; it's what provided so many Americans with a solid education. You want to make America great again? Dignify the humanity of others. Remind yourself that you have been able to survive (maybe even thrive) because of the opportunities afforded you. We are all looking for opportunities to become better humans. When you offer your compassion to your fellow citizens you make this country a better place. When you get out of your precious bubble and actually risk loving others (by giving them health care, by offering up an education for everyone, by feeding the food insecure, by mandating hate crimes legislation), you are making this country the land of the free and the home of the brave. You are fostering life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This is what it means to be American.

It is an embarrassing time to be American. As for me, I am going to keep fighting for the dignity of my fellow Americans. And I would encourage you to do the same. We need more, and we deserve better than this.

Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Named Amy

It's been a month since I have been home from the Women's March on Washington. I've been very busy with almost daily civic action, calling my local and federal representatives, becoming educated on issues and bills, trying to listen with intention to those whose opinions are quite different from mine. It's overwhelming at times, and it can be exhausting. There's no question about it, we have so much work to do. If our nation is to be hold the promises of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, then there is so much more to do.

Something I keep coming back to, part of the work that I believe has to be done, is the need to be honest about our stories. If I don't know what you are struggling with, or why you feel afraid, angry or disappointed, I won't understand you or your needs. And there is a distinct lack of knowing one another right now. I'm not talking about knowing which SNL sketch you find funny or which team you root for on the weekends. I'm talking about understanding what makes you afraid of immigrants; what scares you about the vanishing middle class; what keeps you from voting; what makes you want to run for the hills or hide under the covers; what keeps you up in the middle of the night. I want to know why this country feels so divided when I trust we are all trying to make this a better place. I believe in the power of information and I want to know your story too.

So, in an effort to peel back the mask on my life, I plan to share my stories here. It may happen a little at a time, or it may just flood out. I'm not sure. But the stories need to be told, and I hold on to much hope in telling them; I hope that we all have the ears to hear them. I hope that, if you have a different experience than mine, you will be able to catch a glimpse of what it looks like from my window. I don't intend to change hearts or minds, but I do hope that you have the generosity to see it. And if by some miracle, your story feels similar to mine, then I hope to remind you that you are not alone. It is true that everyone we meet is fighting a battle of some sort. You might not see it. They may never feel brave enough to tell you. But we are all fighting for something. I hope my stories will give voice to some who just may not be able to tell their own.

So let the bravery begin. And please, know that I am all about dignity and respect. Trolls will be blocked. You've been warned. Truth seekers and the curious will find my reality (the good and the bad), one blog post at a time. Welcome friends. Let's get to know one another.

Mrs. Harrison Goes To Washington

Recently, I went to Washington D.C. and marched with 500,000 other women who are concerned for the state of our nation. Since I have been home, there has been a LOT of discussion about whether or not the march was impactful, what it means for the women who marched, for the women who didn't, and what it was all about anyway. And just like so many things in our country (in our lives), the march was complicated and multifaceted. If you weren't there, you may not have heard about all the things we were standing up for. You may still not know what the whole thing was even about. So I want to tell you what that day meant for me, and what my take aways from that experience have been. Because I have been encouraged by it in a way that surprises even me.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a strong supporter of the LGBT community. And so when I first heard about The Women's March, it was my desire to support my LGBT family that drove me to say yes to the invitation. As the march was forming there was a lot of discussion about what the purpose of our gathering actually was. If you weren't receiving those emails and updates, then you could be unaware that there was a large intention to have voices from all female walks of life at this event. This was not going to be the women's movement of the 70s, but an inclusive moment to make sure all female voices were heard, with all the issues pertaining to them (most of which pertain to men as well). The march was organized by a multigenerational, multicultural and intersectional panel of women. I was encouraged most by this.

And as the day of the march drew near it was clear that all of us were attending for many different reasons. We were concerned for our black and brown sisters and their families, for the the LGBT community, for the immigrants among us, for the environment we were leaving to our children, for the lack of representation in our government, for families dealing with a system of incarceration that is inherently unfair, for the lack of understanding that diversity makes us stronger, and for those who had suffered abused and sexual assault. The list of speakers reflected these concerns.

As I was walking down Independence Avenue that morning with my longtime girlfriends and women I had never met, there was a sense pride in participating in a long standing tradition in our country. We were bringing our concerns to our elected officials in a way they could no longer ignore. We had no idea how many were there, but there were going to be enough of us to matter.

Since I have been home, I continue to be asked what it was like to be in that great throng of people. And the word that keeps coming back to me is: generous. Women were helping women. When a women near us collapsed, all it took was the chant of "medic" and there were 3 women at her side. Throughout the day women who had been separated from one another were announced from the stage and reunited in short order. I held hands with white and black and immigrant women alike. We helped one another and even if we didn't agree fully with one another, we were generous with each other. It was ok that your issue wasn't my battle cry. It was ok that you were not the same as me. Because in our differences we still had a common purpose. We were all determined to make the future better for the next generation.

Making the future better means a lot of different things to different people. I may not have the same ideas as you about what that is. I didn't love, or even agree with, every speech from every speaker; but the prevailing wind at that march was generosity to others. Give me space to be the American I need to be, to push through barriers I no longer want, to seek growth and richness in my life, to leave behind a better place than this. And I will give that to you in return. I don't need you to be pro-choice or pro-life (or any other label). I need you to allow me to be me. That's the generosity that was expressed that day, all around me.

What I experienced at the march was the best side of America. For the first time in a very long time, I felt proud to be an American. I felt proud to be with other people who were welcoming and who had clearly been advocating for their causes for a long time too. It's hard to explain what it's like to be part of a minority. But one thing is universal, fighting against a system that has not been built for you is exhausting. These people knew that and came anyway. They had been fighting too, and they too were not going to give up. And what was so incredible for me, is that we felt like a majority. It felt like we were strong, and that our fight was worth it. It's hard to convey just how meaningful that is.

I don't think I will ever forget being in D.C. that day. Not only was it a shot in the arm, a moment of unity and generosity, but it was galvanizing in a way I had not dreamed. Standing there in that sea of women and allies, I knew that I was going to do more. From now on, I needed to get more involved. I am still not exactly sure what that will mean; but I have started to call my representatives to let them know how this constituent feels about the legislation and appointees before them. And I am becoming more vocal and intentional about what I support. I plan on being more involved in the democratic process. It's more than just voting. I'm ready to put my energies into organizations that are doing the work, to be part of the work. Engagement is the key.

The day of the Women's March my feet were my faith in action. But that day was also a jumping off point. That day will be a dividing line in my life. It's the day that my trajectory shifted. With some trepidation I am walking in a new direction. My purpose is clear, even if I can't see the end just yet. But I know one thing: this is what democracy looks like.

Super Scarves 2012

I recently discovered that the knit-signal has been lit for Super Bowl 2012 (you know, like the bat-signal?). Indianapolis is hosting the Super Bowl in 2012 and wants to give away 8,000 scarves to all those who volunteer to help with the Super Bowl happenings. As such, they are asking for knitters to donate their time and hand knit a scarf or two in order for the committee to provide them to all their volunteers.

For more information, you can check out the Host Committee's website. There is no set pattern, but there are patterns available on the website for those who may need a suggestion. There are, however, approved yarn colors (which are, coincidentally, blue and white). I will definitely be sending in a scarf or two. I just love being involved in stuff like this.

Play Date

Today I had the most marvelous play date with a 9-year-old friend; thanks miss C! We began altering a journal together. It was so fun to rummage through all my bits and bobs and listen to her ideas for items and pages. I hope we get to do it again real soon.

Church

I've been thinking about church a lot these days. Trying to put my finger on what it is that feels lacking. For the most part, I love what we do. We are committed to one another in a way that I have never experienced outside of college. I think it's wonderful. 

But lately I have been aching a bit, and until recently, I haven't been able to put my finger on it. I need some hard thinking. I crave the discussion of big ideas, or small ideas. I love to wrestle with the hard questions. I love to read what others are thinking and actually have a discussion with others who are also needing that same thing. And as much as I love our community, it's just not going to happen there. We've tried. There are those of us who enjoy it. But it's not something that will just happen spontaneously. 

What's a girl to do? I don't want to give up what I have, but I need more. (Is that just the epitome of an American belief system?!) I checked out the local seminary workshops and they all seem to be related to music and counseling. And while I am not opposed to either, they are not exactly my baileywick.  So in all my internet surfing, I stumbled across a local church (very mega) which offers 101 things to do. Thing is, I was interested in most of them.

Now, if you know me, you know that I am NOT your typical evangelical. In fact, it's been really hard for me to find a place where I don't feel like I am always the sandpaper rubbing up against everyone. So the fact that these book groups, artist meet-ups, drum circles and celtic services appealed to me was a bit of a shock. I am thinking I will give a couple of them a whirl. At least a book group and the artist meet-up. And the best thing is, I can still maintain my Sunday community. Perhaps there is a way for me after all?

I've Been Tagged

How fun! I've been tagged by a good friend. Here's how it works:

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.

Find page 123.

Find the first five sentences.

Post the next three sentences.

Tag five people.

So here are my sentences from (how embarrassing to admit it) Digging Deep, Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening, by Fran Sorin:

"The boundaries in your brain literally stretch. By mentally trying on or rehearsing something, it actually becomes part of your wiring. For instance, a skater who mentally goes through her routine over and over the night before her competition is doing much more than  just memorizing it. She is carving the experience of it into her hardwiring, making it a part of her conditioning."

Ok, so I posted 4 sentences. It's just like me to bend the rules isn't it? The book is a bit hokey, but it was a super resource for the garden blessing we used in last year's church garden. I posted about that day here, for those who want a little refresher. The other book choices were 75 Exciting Vegetables For Your Garden, and The Bountiful Container -- both of which, oddly, had the subject of leeks on pages 123.

And speaking of gardening, I am dreaming (and drooling) about this spring. I've ordered our seeds and plants, I'm planning the positioning of new beds, researching the starting of seeds indoors, doing a little reading, and generally willing the winter weather to pass quickly so I can get outside again soon. And if we are lucky, we may actually be able to put in our patio this spring. But this seems too good to hope for, so I am trying not to think too much about it, incase I have to be crushed by the fact that it won't be able to happen so soon.

Our church, too, is going to have a garden again this year. It makes me so happy. I can't wait to read all about the changing garden in our journal again. I think we will also plan a harvest meal for mid-summer. Seems a bit more appropriate than our fall timing last year. All I can say is, what was I thinking? Here's to summer and big juicy tomatoes.

For The Birds

And in so many words, it did. I went to the Newport Aquarium yesterday with our family friends. They have a really nice aquarium with lots of cool things to see. We even got a special behind-the-scenes tour due to Mike's connections! I hope to post some of those pics to Hayes's blog soon. But I digress.

At the aquarium there is a fabulous exhibit where one can feed the Lorakeets. These are essentially large parakeets. The kids had a blast holding out cups of nectar and watching the birds light on their arms and drink. And then, it happened. One of the birds pooed on my shoulder.

I felt it was no big deal. In fact, I felt lucky to only have been beaned on my shoulder. Just as we were about to leave, a lorakeet decided I was a good target and shat upon my head and face. Oh, to be so close to nature! Dispite this misadventure, we had a great time. The other birds we saw up close and personal were much kinder to us. We had a close encounter with some adorable penguins. Again, I hope to have some photos up soon. For now, I am sure the image of the lorakeets will be enough.

Laughing in the Face of Cancer

Robert Schimmel is performing at Cracker's in Broad Ripple tonight and tomorrow. In every city where he performs, he asks his fans to donate comedy CDs to their local cancer centers. He provides the CD players. As a survivor himself, he understands that laughter matters in recovery. He got the idea when he would go in for treatments and listen to his own comedy CDs. The other patients eventually began to listen to comedy and they started lending these CDs to one another.

What strikes me is that it's so simple. There's no red tape, no overhead, no business meetings about what goes where and when to donate; you take the CDs to the center, he drops off the players. End of story. It's so nice to hear about someone doing something so simple, so small, and so meaningful.

The First Real Tomato

We got our first real tomato from our backyard today. Hayes has been dying to pick it for the last 3 days. This morning he picked it and ate it for breakfast. By all reports it was delicious! He also had a strawberry from the plant he purchased with his own money this spring. He told his dad it was just like a real strawberry except with sugar on it! I don't know which one of us is having more fun growing all these new and interesting plants.

The community garden is on a roll too. I went over yesterday to tend it with a friend and we pulled enough green beans to feed 3 families, 2 very large zucchini, the rest of the spring onions, a few very large green tomatoes, and enough beets to feed my family. I cannot speak highly enough about those beets! I love fresh food. Hayes said, "This is the best dinner ever! Fresh veggies from the garden!" I couldn't agree more.

Our own cucumbers have exploded and I may not be singing the same tune in a month, but right now, the prospect of all this home-grown food sends me to the moon and back. The bounty of summer!

The Small And Mighty Garden

So we finally planted our wonderful garden as a church. I am so proud of us! We are going to learn so much about each other and how to be a community. Don't get me wrong; I think it'll be really hard work, maybe even drudgery sometimes. But I am excited none-the-less. Here is a copy of the Garden Blessing and some photos of the endeavor. It was a marvelous morning. (Scroll all the way down for all the pics!)



Garden Blessing

Leader:
Our garden began as a small idea and has become something we would never have imagined. This garden will be a place of hard work. We will learn the lessons of toil and patience, disappointment and surprise. We will be rewarded in the end with lessons we never saw coming, both negative and positive.

We will be reminded that we are not in control; no matter how attentively we tend it, we are only one factor in the life of this garden.

We will learn to live in the ambiguity of waiting: waiting for the sun to shine, the rain to fall, the plants to sprout, the fruit to ripen.

We will be reminded in our weeding that getting to the roots is of utmost importance. If we don’t, the weeds will return again and again.

We will find power in being in collaboration with nature and with God.

We will be reminded about our commitment to our community. We know we cannot create a garden and walk away. The garden will have to be taken care of, even when we don’t want to do it, or when we are sick, or on vacation, or very, very, tired.

We will be rewarded with nourishment of all kinds in the tending of this garden. It is my sincere wish that the lessons of the garden will be rich for us all.


**Process around the garden singing “He’s got the whole world in His hands.”

**Children will plant some seeds in the garden.

**Everyone holds hands.

Blessing:

Almighty, everlasting God, sower and nourisher of the heavenly Word, you till the ground of our hearts with spiritual tools. Hear our prayers, please & pour your blessings upon these sprouting seeds, strengthen them in the gentle movement of soft winds, refresh them with the dew of heaven, and let them grow to full maturity for the good of body and soul. Grant us a sense of constant gratitude for your many gifts, so that the hungry may find rich nourishment in the fruits of the earth; so that we may find patience as we wait for the harvest; so that we may find wisdom in the working of this earth.

The Big One

It's funny how having children leads us to more self discovery than anything. Today at church we began discussing what our purpose is in having a "children's program" and ended with a discussion about what the gospel really is. Not your typical church service, I admit; neither are we your typical church. Our goal is to come back next week with some specific needs that our children have, or things we would like to develop in our children and see how our church can and cannot meet them. I have no doubt that this will reveal much about what we, ourselves, believe about the gospel and it's effects in and on our lives.

This is scary to me.

Needless to say I am more liberal in my theology than even I ever would have predicted. I do not see eye-to-eye with most evangelical ideas and fundamentalist principles. I balk at the thought of teaching the children anything like what I was indoctrinated with. I am afraid that any attempt at this will fall short and our children will be worse off for it.

However, the thought has occurred to me just today, that although in the last several years I have decided that the church would not be a good place for spiritual formation (ironic, no?), that our church, in fact, is not your typical church. We have beliefs about God that run the gamut. We have about as diverse a group of people as I would believe possible. And yet, more importantly, we have this commitment to one another that surpasses anything I have ever encountered in the church at large. We have stayed together because of this, even though we do not all, praise the lord, think alike.

So although I am still as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof, I am willing to enter into this discussion -- the big one -- about what the gospel is and how we wish to see it played out in the lives of our children. I am willing to trust these people I love so dearly because they are committed to me too. We are not likely to run out on one another simply because we disagree. We are willing to be pushed a little in all directions, even when the stakes are as high as messing up with your own children. God help us all.