...thinking about calling this one "I Washed My Cell Phone Today" -- you know who you are!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Back in the Saddle
I am finally painting again. It has been so long I almost felt paralyzed. It's so freeing to be back at it. Hope it will inspire more.
...thinking about calling this one "I Washed My Cell Phone Today" -- you know who you are!
...thinking about calling this one "I Washed My Cell Phone Today" -- you know who you are!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Lent, Again
I have tried for many years now to participate in the sacrifices of lent. I'm a big believer in practices. Humans need them; I need them.
But this year, I just couldn't come up with anything. I know it sounds lame, but it's the truth. I concidered many things. Can I stop being cynical? I could try I suppose. Could I give up wine? Not with a trip to Sonoma upcoming. Could I give up TV this year? No. And perhaps I am simply unwilling. The circumstances leading up to lent this year were not the sort that gave me the ability to contemplate my sacrifice as I would have liked. Mom had her moment in the hospital, Richard was traveling more than usual, Hayes was having trouble in school and my studio was in constant disarray. Perhaps this is the year I will enjoy the relief of not sacrificing during lent. I know that Easter is supposed to celebrate just such an occasion, but life does not always happen according to the calendar, does it?
I think that this year during lent, every time I look at my mom, who is still here; and my husband, who loves us so deeply; and my son, who never loses his passion for life dispite the constraints school wants to put on that, I will celebrate the sacrifices that have been made but have not broken us. I will remember the reason we celebrate lent and the relief that we have been given. Here's to lent.
But this year, I just couldn't come up with anything. I know it sounds lame, but it's the truth. I concidered many things. Can I stop being cynical? I could try I suppose. Could I give up wine? Not with a trip to Sonoma upcoming. Could I give up TV this year? No. And perhaps I am simply unwilling. The circumstances leading up to lent this year were not the sort that gave me the ability to contemplate my sacrifice as I would have liked. Mom had her moment in the hospital, Richard was traveling more than usual, Hayes was having trouble in school and my studio was in constant disarray. Perhaps this is the year I will enjoy the relief of not sacrificing during lent. I know that Easter is supposed to celebrate just such an occasion, but life does not always happen according to the calendar, does it?
I think that this year during lent, every time I look at my mom, who is still here; and my husband, who loves us so deeply; and my son, who never loses his passion for life dispite the constraints school wants to put on that, I will celebrate the sacrifices that have been made but have not broken us. I will remember the reason we celebrate lent and the relief that we have been given. Here's to lent.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Richard Flyby
It happens sometimes; Richard gets assigned back to back trips and we see him for a few hours in between. All told, his travel schedule is far better than it has been in the past, (some of his co-workers travel most of the year) and God knows I love the money it brings in to our family. But I never quite get used to him being gone. And I am glad of that.
He spent half the week in Chicago last week, and left for Germany yesterday. He'll be there until Saturday. It's been a while since he has been gone this long. And I am concerned about how Hayes is going to hold up. We do have the help of Mom and Dad, and of course our circle of friends. This is a good thing. But the pattern remains that on the third day, Hayes has problems at school. You can bet your ass I'll be on the lookout for reports from teachers this week. I am out of ideas, have no more suggestions for how to make it easier for this kid when his daddy is gone. On one hand, I don't want it to be easier - kids need their dads and I am so glad that my son and his father as so tightly bonded. And on the other hand, I wish he didn't have to struggle so much. I'd like to ease his pain just a little.
A friend of mine, in a recent blog post, writes that she has stopped believing that there's an end in sight; just a really long, bumpy road. I am starting to believe this too. Perhaps this is just the way of things for Hayes, for us. He will have to endure this and figure out how to deal and I will be here to comfort him when the frustration reaches its boiling point. Not the solution I was looking for, but perhaps more to the reality of things. How is it that I learn so much from being a parent? And these are not the lessons I would have imagined needing to learn like: baking with your child can be fun, or poop comes in numerous colors, or yelling at your child does not increase his speed (although I have learned these lessons too). Instead, these lessons that I am learning are far deeper and more painful than I ever would have expected. And yet, when Hayes and I have these experiences I love him more fiercely than before. This nebulous role of parenting is nothing if not unexpected.
He spent half the week in Chicago last week, and left for Germany yesterday. He'll be there until Saturday. It's been a while since he has been gone this long. And I am concerned about how Hayes is going to hold up. We do have the help of Mom and Dad, and of course our circle of friends. This is a good thing. But the pattern remains that on the third day, Hayes has problems at school. You can bet your ass I'll be on the lookout for reports from teachers this week. I am out of ideas, have no more suggestions for how to make it easier for this kid when his daddy is gone. On one hand, I don't want it to be easier - kids need their dads and I am so glad that my son and his father as so tightly bonded. And on the other hand, I wish he didn't have to struggle so much. I'd like to ease his pain just a little.
A friend of mine, in a recent blog post, writes that she has stopped believing that there's an end in sight; just a really long, bumpy road. I am starting to believe this too. Perhaps this is just the way of things for Hayes, for us. He will have to endure this and figure out how to deal and I will be here to comfort him when the frustration reaches its boiling point. Not the solution I was looking for, but perhaps more to the reality of things. How is it that I learn so much from being a parent? And these are not the lessons I would have imagined needing to learn like: baking with your child can be fun, or poop comes in numerous colors, or yelling at your child does not increase his speed (although I have learned these lessons too). Instead, these lessons that I am learning are far deeper and more painful than I ever would have expected. And yet, when Hayes and I have these experiences I love him more fiercely than before. This nebulous role of parenting is nothing if not unexpected.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Snow Day
Yesterday it was just too cold and slippery to head out to school. So, although Sycamore thought it neccessary to blaze a trail in educating our youth, Hayes and I stayed home. It was a really good day. Hayes watched his two favorite television shows: Diego and Dora. Then we had lunch with Mimi, built a fort (a secret hide out) with two chairs and some blankets and did our puzzle books for what must have been 2 hours. Hayes then decorated some valentines for school and finally played some computer games before bed. And all in his pajamas! He loves to spend the day in his jammies. So do I. It's good to be a kid.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
When It Rains...
Update on Hayes:
We are working with him on a behavior chart at home. For the moment it is working. He earned a half-hour extra before bed last week. He is trying to earn a video game with Daddy this week. Magic Bullet? We'll see...
Update on the weather:
We are expecting up to 6 inches of snow today. We are off to a good start. I think we may have about .5 inches in the last hour already. I may need to head over to school early today to pick up the boy.
Update on my Studio:
11 business days and counting...still no counters. I hate waiting.
Update on Mom:
It was a rough couple of days this week with Mom. For those who don't know, she is a Type I diabetic; has been for 34 years. For the last 7 or 8 she has worn a pump. It's been a such a blessing for her for so long. Until Thursday. Her pump just decided to turn off while she was at lunch with my Grandmother. They were able to replace the battery and when she got home she and Richard reset the baseline settings. When she went to bed everything seemed to be functioning normally. When my dad went to bed at 2:30 a.m. he thought she was snoring. Upon further review he discovered that she was seizing, foaming at the mouth, extremely cold and rigid. He woke me up and we decided that we had to call 911. There was just no way to get any sugar into her at that moment.
While I was on the phone with 911, I passed out - twice. Really. I mean, how helpful can a girl be to her father? Now he has 2 unconscious women instead of just one! In case you are wondering, they call you back. I revived and the paramedics got to us. When they tested her blood sugar they found it to be 10. This is far, far too low. They were able to get a vial of glucose into her via IV. It only raised her to 20.
To make a very long story short, they were able to get to the hospital and she has come through it marvelously. She even came home Friday night; we thought she might have to stay for further observation. She is not using the pump right now, instead she uses the shots. She is much more comfortable with this and I can't say that I blame her. She still has moments when she relives the fear of it - I can't imagine what she must feel. So Friday she and Richard will see her Diabetic nurse and hopefully he can shed some light on what happened. It seems as though the pump is actually working the way it should. We had sort of hoped that was the problem and we would know how to go about the next step. So we are back to waiting again. Have I mentioned how much I hate waiting?
Bright spot:
The Indianapolis Colts are the NFL Champions!
We are working with him on a behavior chart at home. For the moment it is working. He earned a half-hour extra before bed last week. He is trying to earn a video game with Daddy this week. Magic Bullet? We'll see...
Update on the weather:
We are expecting up to 6 inches of snow today. We are off to a good start. I think we may have about .5 inches in the last hour already. I may need to head over to school early today to pick up the boy.
Update on my Studio:
11 business days and counting...still no counters. I hate waiting.
Update on Mom:
It was a rough couple of days this week with Mom. For those who don't know, she is a Type I diabetic; has been for 34 years. For the last 7 or 8 she has worn a pump. It's been a such a blessing for her for so long. Until Thursday. Her pump just decided to turn off while she was at lunch with my Grandmother. They were able to replace the battery and when she got home she and Richard reset the baseline settings. When she went to bed everything seemed to be functioning normally. When my dad went to bed at 2:30 a.m. he thought she was snoring. Upon further review he discovered that she was seizing, foaming at the mouth, extremely cold and rigid. He woke me up and we decided that we had to call 911. There was just no way to get any sugar into her at that moment.
While I was on the phone with 911, I passed out - twice. Really. I mean, how helpful can a girl be to her father? Now he has 2 unconscious women instead of just one! In case you are wondering, they call you back. I revived and the paramedics got to us. When they tested her blood sugar they found it to be 10. This is far, far too low. They were able to get a vial of glucose into her via IV. It only raised her to 20.
To make a very long story short, they were able to get to the hospital and she has come through it marvelously. She even came home Friday night; we thought she might have to stay for further observation. She is not using the pump right now, instead she uses the shots. She is much more comfortable with this and I can't say that I blame her. She still has moments when she relives the fear of it - I can't imagine what she must feel. So Friday she and Richard will see her Diabetic nurse and hopefully he can shed some light on what happened. It seems as though the pump is actually working the way it should. We had sort of hoped that was the problem and we would know how to go about the next step. So we are back to waiting again. Have I mentioned how much I hate waiting?
Bright spot:
The Indianapolis Colts are the NFL Champions!
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