My Love My Church

We had a most fruitful meeting tonight. It did not take the direction I thought it would, but when does that ever happen? And furthermore, when it does happen, it never seems to be quite what I had hoped for.

We are in a period of transition, our little community. And I love the way we are handling ourselves. This is not to say that we aren't stepping on toes or making poor decisions. I am certain we stepped on toes tonight. But honestly, that was one of the most important things that happened. Because it opened the door to a discussion we might not have otherwise had. And it helped us to gain insight into one another. Most of all, by the end of the evening, we were not just more comfortable with each other, but we had new information that will help guide us in our future dealings and decision making.

I am really proud of us. I can't wait to see what happens next. I think we are ready for the next step in our journey, and we are taking it together. It feels really good.

Recent Work

For those of you who won't make it to the open studio tomorrow, here's a peak at my most recent works. I'm loving them!


Melpomene - The Muse of Tragedy (number 5 in a series of 9)


When Life Hands You Lemons (part of The Drinking Series)


Time for Coffee (another in The Drinking Series)


Tree of Life


Hope (in honor of Miriam)

I Left My Heart In San Francisco

It was possibly the most relaxing and enjoyable vacation I've had in years. Love to the Brenners and the Knauer :)

Back in the Saddle

I am finally painting again. It has been so long I almost felt paralyzed. It's so freeing to be back at it. Hope it will inspire more.



...thinking about calling this one "I Washed My Cell Phone Today" -- you know who you are!

The New Studio!!

It's finally done! And it already looks a little lived in :) Check it out!

Lent, Again

I have tried for many years now to participate in the sacrifices of lent. I'm a big believer in practices. Humans need them; I need them.

But this year, I just couldn't come up with anything. I know it sounds lame, but it's the truth. I concidered many things. Can I stop being cynical? I could try I suppose. Could I give up wine? Not with a trip to Sonoma upcoming. Could I give up TV this year? No. And perhaps I am simply unwilling. The circumstances leading up to lent this year were not the sort that gave me the ability to contemplate my sacrifice as I would have liked. Mom had her moment in the hospital, Richard was traveling more than usual, Hayes was having trouble in school and my studio was in constant disarray. Perhaps this is the year I will enjoy the relief of not sacrificing during lent. I know that Easter is supposed to celebrate just such an occasion, but life does not always happen according to the calendar, does it?

I think that this year during lent, every time I look at my mom, who is still here; and my husband, who loves us so deeply; and my son, who never loses his passion for life dispite the constraints school wants to put on that, I will celebrate the sacrifices that have been made but have not broken us. I will remember the reason we celebrate lent and the relief that we have been given. Here's to lent.

The Richard Flyby

It happens sometimes; Richard gets assigned back to back trips and we see him for a few hours in between. All told, his travel schedule is far better than it has been in the past, (some of his co-workers travel most of the year) and God knows I love the money it brings in to our family. But I never quite get used to him being gone. And I am glad of that.

He spent half the week in Chicago last week, and left for Germany yesterday. He'll be there until Saturday. It's been a while since he has been gone this long. And I am concerned about how Hayes is going to hold up. We do have the help of Mom and Dad, and of course our circle of friends. This is a good thing. But the pattern remains that on the third day, Hayes has problems at school. You can bet your ass I'll be on the lookout for reports from teachers this week. I am out of ideas, have no more suggestions for how to make it easier for this kid when his daddy is gone. On one hand, I don't want it to be easier - kids need their dads and I am so glad that my son and his father as so tightly bonded. And on the other hand, I wish he didn't have to struggle so much. I'd like to ease his pain just a little.

A friend of mine, in a recent blog post, writes that she has stopped believing that there's an end in sight; just a really long, bumpy road. I am starting to believe this too. Perhaps this is just the way of things for Hayes, for us. He will have to endure this and figure out how to deal and I will be here to comfort him when the frustration reaches its boiling point. Not the solution I was looking for, but perhaps more to the reality of things. How is it that I learn so much from being a parent? And these are not the lessons I would have imagined needing to learn like: baking with your child can be fun, or poop comes in numerous colors, or yelling at your child does not increase his speed (although I have learned these lessons too). Instead, these lessons that I am learning are far deeper and more painful than I ever would have expected. And yet, when Hayes and I have these experiences I love him more fiercely than before. This nebulous role of parenting is nothing if not unexpected.

Snow Day

Yesterday it was just too cold and slippery to head out to school. So, although Sycamore thought it neccessary to blaze a trail in educating our youth, Hayes and I stayed home. It was a really good day. Hayes watched his two favorite television shows: Diego and Dora. Then we had lunch with Mimi, built a fort (a secret hide out) with two chairs and some blankets and did our puzzle books for what must have been 2 hours. Hayes then decorated some valentines for school and finally played some computer games before bed. And all in his pajamas! He loves to spend the day in his jammies. So do I. It's good to be a kid.