Friday, May 22, 2009

And The Winner Is...

We've been having the boy evaluated for ADD/ADHD and the results are finally in. He has some tendencies, may even be borderline ADD, but as of right now, behavior mod seems to be the best way to handle his needs. 

For me, and for RJH, this was mostly good news. No meds right now means not having to wrestle with the idea of medicating our 7 year old. And, as a former teacher, I understand behavior modification fairly well. The down side is, neither one of us is naturally that regimented. I suppose it's no surprise that we've produced a child who isn't either. So we are stepping into a new plan with some more immediate consequences and rewards. I was feeling pretty good about things. Until yesterday.

It always circles back to this -- the teacher called. Granted, I sent her a "spicy" e-mail. I laid out my feelings about her high expectations and rigidity. I asked for compromise, help for my kid. I knew it was going to be sticky. I also mentioned that no meds were in the future. I think this may have crushed her hopes for an easy year next year. (Hayes is scheduled to be in her class again next year as it is a combined 2nd and 3rd grade class.)

When she called it was evident that she was not going to compromise. Her late policy is her late policy; she can make no long term exceptions. Despite the fact that my child knows the material, he has Fs in 3 of her classes. Again, this wouldn't really bother me, except that she has brought it directly to my son's attention that he should feel ashamed of these grades and strive for more. Really. And of course, an adult told him to feel bad about it, so he obliged. 

I'll save the rest of my rant - believe me, I could go on and on and on - and suffice it to say that I am all done with her. It is taking my every ounce of energy not to yank my kid out of school and be done with this year 3 weeks early. I am certainly not going to subject my child, or myself for that matter, to her ideas of acceptable behavior and personality next year. Oh no. There will be a change. We are free people and not subject to the laws of the Second Grade Society. All Done.

3 comments:

Ket said...

I bet that e-mail WAS spicy...

mary m said...

Where does she get off thinking it's acceptable behavior to tell *any* child they should be ASHAMED? I'm sorry but to me that is way beyond appropriate. It's destructive to a child's mental well being. I think I'd have done more than send an email, I'd go to the school board and any / all PTO get togethers and voice (in my "so subtle" way) my views of her actions and comments to a 2nd grade child.

I praise you for standing your ground, dear. It's hard to go against the grain when it comes to dealing with schools/teachers but sometimes it's simply THE right thing to do.

Huge hugs to you.

mary m said...

make that way beyond inappropriate ... fingers got going too fast ;)