Football Season in Indiana

I thought that baseball in The 'Burg was a little high strung. True, we got a coach who was about as loose as I've ever seen, so maybe we dodged a bullet there. But I hadn't met the folks at the Junior Football League yet.

It could be that I never had brothers, or never played football myself, but when I received an e-mail letting me know I should come to pick up Hayes's tackle gear, I put it on my calendar. When the day arrived, I parked in the lot which is much too far away from the entrance of the Rec Center and ran through a driving rain to retrieve said equipment. I followed the signs to the designated area, filled out a form I assumed needed filling, as there was no one at the desk to help you (or remind you which "league" you signed up for), stood in line in a hot (you know this was the tipping point), smelly locker-room for 25 minutes imagining how many other very sweaty boys have worn that same equipment that I, now, am supposed to put on my child repeatedly (and I assure you - it has never been sanitized).

Needless to say, it would be helpful to know that you must HAVE YOUR SON WITH YOU to get said equipment. It would also be good for the person distributing said equipment not to look at you like you really don't value your son's sport showing up like that and all, especially since the information for scheduling pick up was sent weeks after registration and you had to find a date when you were actually in town and available to come pick it up. And just to make you feel a little worse, they insinuate that your child might not make it to evaluations before the draft (yes, the draft, for the 7 year olds) because you made this gross error.

Clearly, they don't understand that I schedule our summer in February, as I believe most mothers do. They need a "league mom" for all of us ignorant ones who've never had the opportunity to enjoy their company. Let's just say, I wasn't the only mother there who had made this terrible mistake. 30 minutes of my life I am never going to get back.

I can't wait for opening day.