I've always been a bit of a late bloomer. I hit puberty later than my friends; I was slow on the uptake for the latest fashions (some might say I still am); I fell in love with softball too late for it to benefit me in college. Lately I am finding myself, finally, utterly and desperately in love with being Mamma. We're seven years into this thing called parenthood. Why on earth did it take this long?
Nevertheless, there it is: I love motherhood. I love homemaking to be quite honest. I always thought it was this horribly oppressed state of womanhood, but really, I love the idea of being able to care for my family, keep them healthy and happy. I keeps me healthy and happy too. Odd. I've been thoroughly enjoying this knitting; I love canning and putting by the food from our garden; and I love, love, love gardening. I've been getting the seed/plant order ready this week and I am almost drooling with the possibilities.
It's no secret that I've been thinking about another baby. To tell the truth, we probably couldn't afford it and we would have to seriously retool the retirement plan. And I keep trying to remind myself how hard it was and how tired we were. But even so, the idea is appealing to me in a way I never thought possible. Funny how life throws those "nevers" back in your face. And when you'd least expect it.
For now I'm going to enjoy being Mamma. I want to live in the moment as much as possible and be mindful of how much I am enjoying this moment. Who knows when it will come back around.
4 comments:
Oh Amy... Can you read my mind?
I want nothing more than to be a full-time Mama and home-keeper. It's what I think about every day as I'm battling overbearing physicians, appeasing frustrating therapists and trying to help ambivalent families. But what's funny (and I was just thinking about this yesterday -- how odd) is that even though this is all I want, the thought of actually achieving it makes me feel guilty.
And that makes me SO MAD. But that's a post for my blog. :)
I have always thought you & Richard are awesome parents and another baby would be lucky to have you. Very, very lucky.
Do it, do it, do it!! Another little baby would be blessed to have you and Richard as Mamma and Daddy! Plus I think Hayes would make such a great big brother!
Sure the first year is hard and bring pregnant is no walk in the park...but just think what a lifetime of joy another child could bring?
Julie
I just made the connection from Facebook that you blog- I have loved getting caught up on your life and family.
I hear you about the "nevers". I'm only thankful that a lot of my "nevers" have become the greatest blessings.
I have just begun knitting as well. I learned from my grandma as a child, but have forgotten much of it. You're work is inspiring.
Why don't you try someone else's baby out by volunteering to babysit them for some parents. I would love for you to take mine for an afternoon, but I live too far away. I think this almost fulfills the need to have a baby around, and it's a great birth control most of the time! Just a thought from a new momma who loves her kid, but can't imagine having another one at present! -- Rhonda
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