Scenes From Heaven

Incase you were wondering what Heaven is like; here are a few glimpses:

Little Jealous

I love my nieces. They are so incredibly certain of who they are. They are creative, and happy, and good people. It makes me so proud (even though I have had very little to do with it). And now, I can add to my pride, jealousy. Indeed. Just look at the FABULOUS styles they recently got at the salon. OMG!

Maggie reminds me so much of Frenchy on Grease I can't stand myself. She's adorable to begin with, but now? Gorgeous! And Eleanor makes me want her hair so badly I went and got myself a new 'do. Nothing nearly as cool and hip as hers, how could it be?

I love them. They rock. And when they start their own roller derby team (The Shreddy Bears), I am totally there (nasty sign and all)!

Goodbye to L & O

I love Law and Order. I may have mentioned this a few thousand times. And this week aired the very last episode of the New York show. It's a sad passing. Yes,there are others, and yes, you can still see all 450+ episodes in syndication. But it won't be the same. I think I'll miss S. Epatha Merkerson the most. She play the Loo.

If you have not yet read this article (thanks sweetie) you really must. It's the perfect homage to such a great show. Goodbye L&O. You will be missed.

Bomp. Bomp.

You Know You're A Disney Girl When...

. . . your sole motivation for working out is the prospect of going back to Disney and being able to stay late, because you are not so tired you think you might pass out.

Oh, and while you walk on your treadmill in the complete and utter seclusion of your closet (because it's bigger than the kitchen in your first apartment and you are positive no one could actually walk by and see you huffing and puffing), you have a map of World Showcase (in Epcot) taped to the wall so you can imagine yourself walking there (as a fit and trim person, of course) instead of your closet. And the music you blare (even at 10:00 at night, even if you are sure the people next door can hear it) is the Millennium Celebration from Epcot.

I'm just saying. ⁰0⁰

It's The Little Things

Sometimes it's just the little things that make me happy. On Tuesday I found a great recipe for a corn and bean salad that I think will become a staple in the summer rotation: happy. Yesterday I weeded around 3 of the 6 garden boxes and planted some cucumbers. It felt good: happy.

Today we have a brand new ironing board cover, get this, that fits. I love the print. I wish I could tell you that I made it, but alas, I purchased it. For a mere $9.00: happy.

Refashion Success!

My first attempt at refashioning clothing was a complete failure. But this time, I think I got it right! This cotton / linen blend shirt used to belong to Richard. It never fit him right and was just not his thing. I grabbed it out of the donation/garage sale pile and decided to give it an attempted update. I really like it. And it's a bit dressier than a T-shirt for summer. I may just get the hang of this after all.
I created some pin-tucks at the waist to make it more flattering (and along the back - sorry, no photo) and then I shortened the sleeves and gathered them for a more feminine look.

I'd love to try and change the neckline, but this looks good as it is. I'll have to leave that for the next one. Richard better watch out, his clothes are about to be picked over!

Struggling

I've been back and forth on writing this post. It's very personal, but I am often miffed that more women are not honest about life, especially life as a woman. It's not easy to admit that you like being single, or that you don't like motherhood, or that your relationship with your mother (or child) is harder than you ever thought possible, or that your marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. Somehow we expect perfection in our womanly roles, and it's become taboo to speak ill of certain sacred cows. I don't want to be one of those women who keeps quiet about the hard stuff, perpetuating the myth that life as a woman is all light and roses.

It's been hard for me since the miscarriage. I can say it's gotten better; much, much better. But it's not fine yet. Perhaps the worst part is that I feel like my body has betrayed me. And I can't stand to look at it. It looks ugly to me, that sort of avert-your-eyes ugliness that is embarrassing to both the ugly and the beautiful. My body is way out of shape, heavier than is healthy; I don't want pictures of me (which has never happened before), I don't like anything I wear, and despite trying to put on a happy face and ignore it, I can't seem to change the way I feel.

So I've decided that I am going to walk. I'm going to walk until my body is healthy again. Until I fit in my regular-body-weight clothes and until I can look myself in the eyes and believe that I am whole and beautiful. And if I happen to get pregnant while all of this is taking place (god I hope I do), all the better. But even if I never get pregnant, or stay pregnant, I want to be able to like my physical self again. This is something I can control, and it has to change. It just has to.

Like Mother, Like Son

We are departing tomorrow for one of our favorite vacation spots: Walt Disney World! As a child I was never able to sleep the night before we left. Who am I kidding? I still can't. It's so exciting thinking about all the great stuff we are going to do, all the laughter that will happen, all the silly experiences we are going to have, all the memories we'll be making.

No big surprise here, but my boy is pumped up so high tonight I fully expect to see him in the morning wide awake, having slept not a wink. I can't say I blame him. There is far too much fun to be had I tell you. How can you sleep on a night like tonight?